No motivation.

I don't know what is going on with me. In the past 9 years, I've been just a working machine. A full time job and a half. Now I feel like I don't want to go to work and just keeping a 36 hr /week job. As I sat here on my lazy ass, I contemplated about letting go of services that I don't think I can afford anymore since I'm not working like a dog. Things that I'm used to for years will need to be given up.

Life is too short to be a lazy bum. I need to channel my strength and resources to activities that matters to me. I know that I need to let go of activities that is causing me to feel bad. That activity happens to be my job.

Okay, I'm almost 40 and I'm tired of my main "career". I see nurses at work that are just into their careers. They are moving up in their ladder of success. I'm stagnating. I don't care about nursing much any more. I guess it's burn out. I hope I get out of this rut. It really sucks.

I tried to do dialysis nursing last year and didn't cared about it. It was not satisfying work. I'm back doing what I used to do. I started to forget some of the skills but after some practice they come back in no time. It's nice to be back into more technical nursing. I was exploring nursing informatics. It involves computers and documentation of nursing tasks. 50% of nurses in this field had informal training, others have advance degrees. I don't know how to get in. I heard by pure connections. I'm not well connected. I need to have feelers out there.

Just arrived. Babylon 5 "The complete series". The mailer package came from China. Mainland or Taiwan? Who knows? The packaging is not US quality. The disks are wrapped in some cheap plastic wrappers. The box printing is third world. I played a disk and it plays. The picture is crisp and so far so good. For half price, it's good. Remember that I'm on a budget.

Wireless DSL Router.

After a year and a half being ignored next to my Sony VAIO laptop, the Mac G4 I bought from my bro finally got it's deserved upgrade. A new OS X ver3.5. At the same time the two were being merged into one ISP. The Mac didn't get the broadband from AOL because it was never supported. A wireless router was hooked up between the two and after several hours of tinkering and tweaking and failing a few times it finally worked. Thanks for all the other pioneers out there who posted their frustrations and gave me the answer to my question. How does this thing work?

What took people months to figure out took me hours. Not bad. The lesson I learned is just wait for technology to get a bit older and better before buying into it. That way, they have figured out all the bugs and it will beasier to use.

The Mac is now experiencing broadband speeds. Thank the Lord! no more dial up speed. Even at 400MHz. This baby is cruising. It's the DSL speed, not processor speed that matters with the internet experience. I Wuv it.

I was even looking at Airport extreme. The Mac equivalent of wireless connectivity. It wasn't clear to me about system requirements. The Mac has so many versions that I wan't really sure if it will work with my Mac. I went to the PC section instead and asked the PC support person if this router will work with a Mac. He said it will. That's enough for me.

The OS upgrade is just the necessary equipment for this Mac to perform. It will solve all the connectivity issues of the older OS X version 2. Again, get it to age and it will be better. I really don't need a new G5 (I really do but on denial) for now as I don't feel like working extra to afford it.

See a doctor.

A common advice by my sister. I, being a nurse, a critical care nurse, knows the symptoms of a cold. I hang on for dear life as I coughed, wheezed and sputtered for about a week and a half. Well, last night I was up all night and just can sleep. I took a few naps and was basically just not sleepy. I'm still coughing but nothing major. I even think I was even 75% better.

Around 9 a.m. I decided to call in for an appointment and the earliest someone can see me is 7:30 p.m. I took it and did errands during the day. I sent a happy b'day message to my brother by text. I didn't want to bother him at work as his boss is the Wicked Witch from the West.

As soon as I got to the doctor the nurse was like "I can hear you wheezing", "why did you wait 2 weeks to see a doctor?" "Your asthma can get really bad". Whow, I got that coming. The doctor was a Filipiono and we talked about my symptoms and medical histories and conditions. He ordered some medications and a chest x-ray. THe x-ray was clear but he belives I have bronchitis and need antibiotics. I also received a breathing treatment as my asthma is really bad. The bill was about $100.00, holy cow. This is meds only. 2 inhalers, antibiotics, refills, and antiinflamatories. Jeez, and I thought it was just a cold.

The doctor happens to know my cousin who's a doctor in the east coast. He knows him well and was even in my mom's funeral 6 years ago. What a small world. He was "ka brod" with my cousin. Meaning they were "brothers" in the same medical school fraternity in the Philippines. Interesting night. He even covered me for my absence at work with a form that indicated my days of illness and that I am cleared to return to work.

Doc suggested that I switched to him as my primary doctor. Hey, who am I to say no. His office is about a couple of miles from my home and getting an appointment with him will be easier. The bad thing is my insurance only covers me until April and my new job doesn't have the same insurance coverage. Oh well, atleast he can manage my medical condition better than my present doctor.

There is always a silver lining to every dark cloud. Well, I'm turning another year older in a few minutes. So, I'm signing off and will greet the new age watching the Late show on t.v.

Birthdays

Another year, another birthday. What the heck is the significance of birthdays? Well, it's a time to celebrate the day I was born. I don't get into the philosophical crap because I'm no philosopher. Birthdays for me gives me reason to spend money on good food and toys. Most religious folks will go to church to thank God for this day. I thank God everyday that I'm alive. I don't need a birthday to do that.

I'm looking forward to this weekend's get together with my brother. (Happy birthday, bro). We are going out to this Japanese restaurant. I'm hungry already just thinking of it. We usually order a "boat". It's a wooden boat model about 4 feet long and the food is stacked on the boat's mid section. There are teriyaki chicken, NY steak, tempura shrimp, and other dishes that I can't remember. All I can say is it's a feast.

I made two other engagements this coming Saturday without thinking that that is also the day that my brother is coming. I'm working Sunday so that day is out. I guess I have to reschedule the other two engagements that way I can spread out the festivities of my birthday. As usual, it takes a few weeks to go out with friends who likes to celebrate it with me. I love it.

I don't think I'm getting any more toys this year. I have toys I haven't played with. I think this year will be one of those saving years, where I put money in a pot for retirement and other future uses like buying a house in northern California. Money will be tight this year as I'm working day shift and the night differential is gone. A big chunk of cash. Research shows that night shift folks live shorter lives, thus the extra pay. I've done it for 6 years already and I'm done with it. I enjoy living a normal life and not willing to pay the price.

Sick, sick, sick.

The worst thing about the winter season is getting sick. The cold weather and the rain are bad enough. Being sick just makes everything really sucky. Congested chest, wheezing, coughing, sneezing, sore joints, weakness, sore chest due to the coughing, sore throat, and if you are really lucky, fever. I didn't have the fever part, I think, I don't own a thermometer. I got all the other symptoms.

I lost 5 days of work already, and that is bad. No money to pay for the toys. It's good there are savings, otherwise it will be bankruptcy time. The lesson is to work your ass off while you are young because you'll spend your money in medicines and doctors visits when you get old and frail.

The rain continues to pour. We are breaking 1920's records on inches of rain, feet of snow, etc. My garage even got wet due to a stupidly built gutter. It's hard to find a good contractor. After this rain my house is going for a major overhaul. Gutters and soil grading and even drainage. I better start digging.

Living alone has it's advantages and disadvantages. When I get sick, that's when the disadvantages appear. No one to do the grocery, cook, take out the garbage, clean, and other necessities of life. Man, what a price to pay. So, I have to do all these necessary things when I'm sick. This aggravates the symptoms and makes me sicker. Oh well. I have friends but it's sizzy to ask for help. Please, I'm an independent man.

Well, I'm calling in sick again today. The supervisor will not be happy. She needs to call the other nurses to fill in. Though job. I'm glad I'm not doing it.

USC is National Champion. (NCAA Division 1 Football)
Finally the undisputed champion of college football. The 11th time in it's history. Back to back champs. There is no question now that my alma mater has reached the top of the mountain.
Here's to USC.